“Bagpipes” opens with Ted and Robin complaining about their new neighbours, a new couple that are constantly “bagpiping.”
Barney Worries About Ted and Lily
At the bar, Barney tells Ted that Marshall and Lily are getting a divorce, because he witnessed Lily making Marshall wash his dishes right away. Ted tells Barney that it’s not a big deal and that he is suffering from a little condition called, “new relationship smugness.” Barney thinks his relationship is perfect, and that his relationship is better than everyone else’s.
When Marshall gets to MacLaren’s, Barney tries to convince Marshall that he is the best at relationships. Marshall tells Barney that just because he has been in a relationship for 5 minutes doesn’t mean that he knows everything.
Barney says that every time he and Robin are going to have a fight, he gets up and leaves because “that’s what Gandhi taught us.” He says that Robin gets naked every time they are going to have a fight.
Barney Gives Marshall Relationship Advice
Barney explains his logic of how he avoids doing chores in a funny, alternate universe sequence with Lily. He “tells” Lily that it is not logical that he should have to wash the dishes, and also that he doesn’t want to wash dishes when he gets home from work, because he wants to shower her with love instead.
Marshall begins to see Barney’s logic, and Ted tries to convince him to not listen to Barney.
Ted asks Robin, when she arrives, if they ever fight. He tells them they are two of the most emotionally unequipped people he knows, and that it’s impossible for them to not fight. Robin says that they only had a fight once, over who was more awesome, and it ended when they decided to have sex.
Marshall Takes Barney’s Advice, and Fights with Lily
Marshall ends up listening to Barney, and tells Lily he won’t wash the dishes. Marshall shows up at Ted’s door and needs a place to sleep.
Barney and Robin get back from their ski trip, and our deliriously happy from their weekend. Ted asks Barney when they became so nauseating. Marshall is mad at Barney for giving him relationship advice. Marshall made the mistake of telling Lily that he shouldn’t have to do the dishes because he makes more money than her.
Marshall says that he should just go home and apologize; but Barney says that he needs a surge. Marshall agrees with Barney once again, and Ted tries to talk him out of listening to Barney once again.
Robin shows up at the bar and asks Ted if he talked to the neighbours. He said that he did – turns out that they are an old couple! He didn’t have the heart to tell them to stop “bagpiping.”
Ted Catches on to Barney and Robin’s Lie
Ted realizes that there might be something up with Barney and Robin because they seem so happy all the time. At the bar, Ted calls them on fighting a lot and attempting to hide it. Inspired by hearing all of his neighbours’ “bagpiping,” Ted tracked down Barney’s neighbour and finds out that he hears all their fights.
Barney says that everything had been going great until their ski trip the previous weekend. He told Robin about the advice that he gave Marshall, on a chair lift, and they couldn’t run away. Because it was too cold, Robin couldn’t take her clothes off either.
Lily and Marshall Stop Fighting
Robin and Barney come over to Lily and Marshall’s, asking for their advice. After hearing about all their fighting, Lily and Marshall realized how stupid their fighting was and are able to fix things. Robin and Barney ultimately agree that they make not be a perfect couple, but at least they’re getting to the good stuff.
How I Met Your Mother airs on Monday on CBS at 8/9c.
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